lilyberation | (no subject)

( lily blinks, before her eyes well up with hot tears and propriety be damned, she pulls him closer with one hand and leans into him. )

I'm still sorry for worrying you... I was scared that had I said anything, everyone would try and stop me.

( she wants to be closer, but focuses on just leaning against him with her side so as to not squish puck between them. by now vernal has made his way to her as well, leaping up to join puck in her arm as he cries happily. )

I'm sorry, Vernal, I know it must have been scary...

[oops! he did not mean to make her cry. his arms wrap around her, trying to comfort her. it's difficult when he also feels like crying. his voice cracks as he speaks]

Thank you... for coming back.

[Elder Faerie did not mind writing and signing, anything for her. but he does appreciate the fact that White Lily can hear him again, even with all the emotion currently in his voice]

( all the emotion in his voice makes all the difference. between threats she could not hear and love in the inflection of people's voices she could not register, even with accommodations she realizes now that she'd been slowly going mad. lily's voice wavers slightly. )

I always do. I always will. I promise.

[ah, it's nice. this feeling. his human heart swells, he can feel it. he remains holding her, petting the back of her hair in a comforting gesture. he really does love White Lily]

Did...

[he wants to ask her if it hurt, when... she died. but it probably is best not know, so he changes course]

Are you alright, now? Can I get you anything?

( if he keeps holding her like that, she's just going to melt into him. tragic, truly.

does she need anything? hm... )

I revived fully healed and had little trouble getting back to the inn, but... the cold always leaves me terribly sleepy... I'm not sure if I do, but join me by the fire?

Of course.

[a sniffle as he composes himself. he would get her tea, too, or a snack, if she needed it. for now, Elder Faerie escorts her to the fire]

( the warmth is welcome- and the fireside, too! lily wastes no effort finding a close enough seat and simply dragging him down with her, propriety be damned. snuggles are more important. )

... Thank you. For being my friend...

[snuggles! of course... he leans into White Lily, not exactly wrapping an arm around her, but using that arm to prop himself up behind her. he glances down, wondering if he should talk to her about something that's been on his mind. well, several things have been on his mind, but she just got back!]

I am happy to support you, always, White Lily Cookie. It is an honor to be close to you, and, I thank you for being my friend, even if I have not always made the best decisions.

We both have jamshed on our hands, painted with good intent. That is not something I could ever judge you for. I know that you have always acted for our people, and that is one of the things I love about you.

( ... is he comfortable like this? she adjusts to fret ever so slightly. )

[he's comfortable! when this arm gets tired, he shall lean on the other! he just wants to be close right now]

...Yes. Though, I am beginning to understand that what I have done may not have always benefitted everyone. You, in particular, have suffered so much.

( she smiles. it is not a happy smile. )

Everyone I love is meant to hurt me in some way. It is not a surprise at this point, nor a point of resentment.

[uh oh. she's doing that thing again. Elder faerie is used to White Lily's self-deprecative language. Silent Salt is the same way. or, rather, Silent Salt seems as though he is always disgusted with life, in and of itself.

he looks down, now, wondering if it's a good idea to continue this topic]

I did not realize you thought so little of your fellow Cookies.

[he's not being sincere when he says this. it's more of a... morbid joke? dark humor? he doesn't even know at this point]

It's not a reflection of them, but a pattern of history. My caretakers, my teachers, my classmates, my friends and lovers... ... my Gods.

( yeah, that joke went right over her head, sorry elder faerie. )

It's... more a reflection of me, I'm sure. But it's okay. I'm used to it!

( still, she thinks... this might not be a good avenue to continue down. lily hesitates before sighing into his chest. )

We can change the subject.

..........No.

[he sits up straighter, to look at her. Elder Faerie is the one who brought up this subject in the first place. his voice is still soft, but with a sense of urgency. this has been weighing on him for months]

I am not finished. A while back, I spoke to Pavlova Cookie, and he made me realize that I have put a great amount of stress on you. I did not ask you if you wanted to be the next ruler of the Faerie Kingdom. I forced this duty upon you negligently.

... You did...?

( pavlova...? ah... the dream.

how embarrassing.

lily falters a bit, glancing around before trying to meet his eyes again. )

What other choice did you have?

[his shoulders relax now that he's taken that first step. his expression is sad]

Now that I think back on it, I could have bestowed my powers to any of my subjects. No one is more powerful than you, but that is beside the point.

[Elder Faerie always thinks of White Lily as strong and beautiful, while also being incredibly fragile. he never thought of her as only half a Cookie, at the very least. thinking this, he dips his head and moves his hand to rub at his eyes]

I wanted to honor you, not... Not frighten you.

...

I have been afraid since the moment I woke up in the glass coffin to begin with. Before then, even.

One of the sole scraps of comfort I held was that, even if only intangibly, a part of you was still with me. For that, I am grateful.

[guilt is so tricky. Elder Faerie does not want to make this conversation entirely about his feelings. ah, he really should go to therapy]

I see.

[he settles, but he still isn't happy]

In any case, I am sorry for pushing my beliefs and duties on you.

...

( lily reaches up to gently cup his cheek. )

I don't know if I understand. But... please do not think yourself as just a dagger in my heart. You were the one who made me realize I could love.

[such strong words. he can feel her emotion. he's is so glad that they can converse like this, again. Elder Faerie sighs and brings his hand up to cover hers]

Such high praise. Of course I believe you're capable of love, just like any Cookie. You are so dear to me.

Oh, I love our people. And I love my caretakers and my friends. But I did not believe myself capable of romantic love before... Before I met you.

( lily isn't sure if this is a confession. she's not sure what to expect, or what to do. but it's the truth, even if her cheeks burn. )

[he's taking this in slowly. romantic love. she loves him? like that? his heartbeat is quickening, but he's not sure how to react. when he confessed to Silent Salt, he was so heated. now, here White Lily is talking about romantic love as easily as breathing.

he closes his mouth, only realizing that his jaw had dropped a moment ago. his fingers curl around her hand and he speaks softly]

You. Loved me. Romantically.

[saying it out loud, repeating it like that, makes his own cheeks burn. Elder Faerie is not one who flusters easily, but White Lily has him feeling like a young Fae right now]

Do you still... feel this way?

( lily is quiet for a moment, despite knowing the answer. in the dream of the fairy kingdom, they had been together. it began with their wedding and her coronation.

does she still feel that way? hah. )

Oh, Elder Faerie, I never stopped.

[well. this is a surprising turn of events.

Elder Faerie looks at her for several seconds, enamored, enchanted. his fondness for White Lily Cookie was always admiration, and love. but he never dreamed to be loved like that in return.

after a moment, he closes his eyes, thinking. he wants to sing a song of joy. so he does, words spill out in the Faerie Cookie language that she will no doubt know, expressing his deep devotion for her. it's all that he can think of to do in this moment, because regular words seem... silly. like they would not be enough]

♫♩♫

( oh.

oh, elder faerie-

the song is such a wonderful thing to experience with her hearing renewed. she can't imagine him giving her such a wonderful gift and not being able to truly appreciate it. to think that she could have potentially gone without hearing this forever...

lily leans against him, head resting above his heart as she wraps her arms around him. she could join the song, but she wants to let him speak first. while she rests against him, vernal snuggles up to puck and begins nuzzling through his feathers like little baby kisses. )