(no subject)

[Elder Faerie is up and moving by now, though worried about where everyone is. he's seen people come and go from the inn, and Silent Salt and White Lily both went missing without saying much.

but once she has returned to the inn, Puck senses her and rushes out of his master's room to greet her]

Where are you going, little one?

[he pauses on the stairs when he sees Puck jump up, pawing at Lily's shoes. ah, he feels... nervous, like he wants to know what happened to her, but doesn't, all the same]

White Lily Cookie.

Elder Faerie Cookie...

...

( he's done so much to accommodate her. now she sudenly feels even more nervous- after a moment, she scoops up puck to avoid wringing her hands together too much. )

... I should thank you for all that you've done for me in your time here. I am certain it will serve us well in the future.

[something is... different. he's not yet sure what it is. his theory makes him fearful, her return as terrifying as it is miraculous]

...You glanced up when I moved.

[maybe? but Elder Faerie is also ready to sign to her if need be]

Can you... hear me?

[Puck nuzzles against White Lily, cozy]

...

I can.

( oh, dough, please don't be mad at her. )

I decided that the odds were in our favor, and I acted.

I will accept whatever comes next.

[after a moment, Elder Faerie closes his eyes. he wishes to embrace her, right then and there, but... he holds himself back. for now. how can he be mad at her when he did something so foolish and got himself killed?]

If we are to speak of our thanks, now, then I must be the one to thank you for coming to my aid. You ventured out into the snow, amidst the monsters, by yourself. You rescued me, White Lily Cookie. And I was unable to express my gratitude, then. And, for that, I humbly apologize.

[slowly, he reaches out to brush a strand of white hair from her face, a tender gesture. he cannot imagine all that she's been through, and that she willingly put herself into danger again for her own benefit. she is so strong]

Whatever you have done, I shall not fault you. It was your decision alone. I am merely thankful that you are still here, with us.

( lily blinks, before her eyes well up with hot tears and propriety be damned, she pulls him closer with one hand and leans into him. )

I'm still sorry for worrying you... I was scared that had I said anything, everyone would try and stop me.

( she wants to be closer, but focuses on just leaning against him with her side so as to not squish puck between them. by now vernal has made his way to her as well, leaping up to join puck in her arm as he cries happily. )

I'm sorry, Vernal, I know it must have been scary...

[oops! he did not mean to make her cry. his arms wrap around her, trying to comfort her. it's difficult when he also feels like crying. his voice cracks as he speaks]

Thank you... for coming back.

[Elder Faerie did not mind writing and signing, anything for her. but he does appreciate the fact that White Lily can hear him again, even with all the emotion currently in his voice]

( all the emotion in his voice makes all the difference. between threats she could not hear and love in the inflection of people's voices she could not register, even with accommodations she realizes now that she'd been slowly going mad. lily's voice wavers slightly. )

I always do. I always will. I promise.

[ah, it's nice. this feeling. his human heart swells, he can feel it. he remains holding her, petting the back of her hair in a comforting gesture. he really does love White Lily]

Did...

[he wants to ask her if it hurt, when... she died. but it probably is best not know, so he changes course]

Are you alright, now? Can I get you anything?

( if he keeps holding her like that, she's just going to melt into him. tragic, truly.

does she need anything? hm... )

I revived fully healed and had little trouble getting back to the inn, but... the cold always leaves me terribly sleepy... I'm not sure if I do, but join me by the fire?

Of course.

[a sniffle as he composes himself. he would get her tea, too, or a snack, if she needed it. for now, Elder Faerie escorts her to the fire]

( the warmth is welcome- and the fireside, too! lily wastes no effort finding a close enough seat and simply dragging him down with her, propriety be damned. snuggles are more important. )

... Thank you. For being my friend...

[snuggles! of course... he leans into White Lily, not exactly wrapping an arm around her, but using that arm to prop himself up behind her. he glances down, wondering if he should talk to her about something that's been on his mind. well, several things have been on his mind, but she just got back!]

I am happy to support you, always, White Lily Cookie. It is an honor to be close to you, and, I thank you for being my friend, even if I have not always made the best decisions.

We both have jamshed on our hands, painted with good intent. That is not something I could ever judge you for. I know that you have always acted for our people, and that is one of the things I love about you.

( ... is he comfortable like this? she adjusts to fret ever so slightly. )

[he's comfortable! when this arm gets tired, he shall lean on the other! he just wants to be close right now]

...Yes. Though, I am beginning to understand that what I have done may not have always benefitted everyone. You, in particular, have suffered so much.

( she smiles. it is not a happy smile. )

Everyone I love is meant to hurt me in some way. It is not a surprise at this point, nor a point of resentment.

[uh oh. she's doing that thing again. Elder faerie is used to White Lily's self-deprecative language. Silent Salt is the same way. or, rather, Silent Salt seems as though he is always disgusted with life, in and of itself.

he looks down, now, wondering if it's a good idea to continue this topic]

I did not realize you thought so little of your fellow Cookies.

[he's not being sincere when he says this. it's more of a... morbid joke? dark humor? he doesn't even know at this point]

It's not a reflection of them, but a pattern of history. My caretakers, my teachers, my classmates, my friends and lovers... ... my Gods.

( yeah, that joke went right over her head, sorry elder faerie. )

It's... more a reflection of me, I'm sure. But it's okay. I'm used to it!

( still, she thinks... this might not be a good avenue to continue down. lily hesitates before sighing into his chest. )

We can change the subject.

..........No.

[he sits up straighter, to look at her. Elder Faerie is the one who brought up this subject in the first place. his voice is still soft, but with a sense of urgency. this has been weighing on him for months]

I am not finished. A while back, I spoke to Pavlova Cookie, and he made me realize that I have put a great amount of stress on you. I did not ask you if you wanted to be the next ruler of the Faerie Kingdom. I forced this duty upon you negligently.

... You did...?

( pavlova...? ah... the dream.

how embarrassing.

lily falters a bit, glancing around before trying to meet his eyes again. )

What other choice did you have?

[his shoulders relax now that he's taken that first step. his expression is sad]

Now that I think back on it, I could have bestowed my powers to any of my subjects. No one is more powerful than you, but that is beside the point.

[Elder Faerie always thinks of White Lily as strong and beautiful, while also being incredibly fragile. he never thought of her as only half a Cookie, at the very least. thinking this, he dips his head and moves his hand to rub at his eyes]

I wanted to honor you, not... Not frighten you.

...

I have been afraid since the moment I woke up in the glass coffin to begin with. Before then, even.

One of the sole scraps of comfort I held was that, even if only intangibly, a part of you was still with me. For that, I am grateful.

[guilt is so tricky. Elder Faerie does not want to make this conversation entirely about his feelings. ah, he really should go to therapy]

I see.

[he settles, but he still isn't happy]

In any case, I am sorry for pushing my beliefs and duties on you.

...

( lily reaches up to gently cup his cheek. )

I don't know if I understand. But... please do not think yourself as just a dagger in my heart. You were the one who made me realize I could love.

[such strong words. he can feel her emotion. he's is so glad that they can converse like this, again. Elder Faerie sighs and brings his hand up to cover hers]

Such high praise. Of course I believe you're capable of love, just like any Cookie. You are so dear to me.